Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I could make wine with my vomit
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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