Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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