Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
