Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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