they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize