i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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