Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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