I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
