You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
