Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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