Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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