How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
