OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
