Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
