i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
