My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
