So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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