standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
