I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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