whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
