therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
