Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
