You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
