I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
