wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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