There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
