i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
