Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im holly from the hills drunk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
