Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
