There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
