Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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