i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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