I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
