love makes seman taste better
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
