So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
