the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
