So drunk its hurt
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
