She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize