good thing vaginas are great cup holders
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
