Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
