i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
