pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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