she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
