sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize