That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
