PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize