Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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