After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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