What a fucking waste of an outfit
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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