Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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