Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
