I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize