hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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