Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
