so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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