I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
