he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
