Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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