I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
