Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
