I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
