He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think my moral compass just broke
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
