it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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