Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize