also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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