Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
