I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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