Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
